The Challenge Free Agents Episode 3 opens with a drunken slurring marriage proposal, because why not?
Against traditional gender roles thanks to a lot of MTV-provided booze, Nany gets on one knee and proposes to Cohutta, the man with the most amazing somehow non-fake accent ever.
Then, of course, because life in the challenge house moves fast, it’s time for bachelor and bachelorette parties!
To no surprise, Jasmine acts as the sexy school girl stripper for Cohutta’s bachelor party. Girl can work the pole! Whether Jasmine is wearing panties or not is unclear, but since MTV has to blur her private area, she gets nudity points.
When the girls try to crash the party, CT wisely asks them if they have a bachelorette party to go to. So in another room, the girls cheer for their stripper, Johnny from Portland (who is actually from Boston, but is from the Real World Portland season). While Johnny does stick his crotch in Nany’s face, he even shows his butt – nudity points for him!
But Johnny from Portland’s erotic dancing seems to be, well, erotic. Nany and Johnny from Portland make out a little (5 points each for that), before Aneesa erroneously makes the comments, “Nany just got married, you can’t cheat already!” Um, Aneesa, they got engaged… not married.
Then, taking it down a notch. Frank calls home to cry (20 points) about how he’s actually really sick and his lungs are messed up.
Frank decides to stick it out because hey, he’s won two elimination challenges sick, so why not keep going and see how awesome he is even at reduced lung capacity.
Unfortunately for Frank, T.J. announces at the Challenge that there’s a “serious problem at the house” and that Frank has a viral infection that is very contagious, so he’s gotta go.
Devyn feels bad and pretty much everyone else is thrilled (Leroy “couldn’t be more happier’) because Frank is A) an asshole, and 2) a really good competitor.
This is a scoring anomaly. Frank is not leaving the show due injury, but is also not being kicked off. He’s essentially disqualified for being sick. No points are awarded for this strange and anti-climactic situation.
Onward to the challenge! In teams of 4 (2 guys, 2 ladies), they have to move skinny-ass beams under them up 40 feet above the water to cross this wall thing.
Because Frank is out, Team Js (Jordan, Jonna and Jasmine) can participate or sit it out. If they sit out, they are not eligible for the draw, but could get voted in. Team Js think about it and decide to play. Good for them!
Team Cara Maria (Cara Maria, CT, Aneesa and Swift) move way too slow and time expires. Sometimes it is very rough going first. Team Bananas, Camila, Jessica and Brandon do very well. The next team, Zach, Johnny from Portland, Devyn and Theresa listen to idiot Zach, who recognizes how long his arms are without taking into consideration that if long arms skip to reach past another peg, the rest of his team can’t retrieve the peg because they don’t have long arms. Oh, Zach. But Zach moons everyone at the end for some reason (10 nudity points).
Team Js puts Jonna and Jasmine on one side, while having Jordan work alone on the other side of the wall. Jordan only has a hand and a half and that’s a real issue for this challenge, since it involves grabbing the beam/peg thing. Jordan does alright in the beginning, but then drops the peg. Bananas thinks this has nothing to do with the hand, but is an ego issue. Jasmine also has no idea how this happened. Um… HE ONLY HAS A HAND AND A HALF! That’s how it happened.
Anyway, Brandon’s Team wins! Camila, Jessica, Bananas and Brandon are safe from elimination and score 15 points each for winning the challenge. Bananas and Brandon easily go for Johnny from Portland, with the straight up rookie reasoning. Camila wants to talk to LaToya and Nia to see if they will vow allegiance to her if she promises to never vote her in. They both agree, obviously, but LaToya calls out Nia for being sneaky because Nia was supposed to not vote for LaToya and she did. Jessica doesn’t want to vote for LaToya again.
Jessica votes Devyn. Then Camila votes Nia. Bananas follows Camila and picks Nia. Brandon also agrees, and Nia the rookie is in.
At the elimination round, T.J. announces that there are only three guys in the draw, but four cards… 3 being blank and 1 being the kill card. This means that all the guys could be safe if no one draws the kill card (I mean, Frank was the one who was always flipping that one anyway).
Cara Maria gets stuck with the kill card and sets up to go in for a reverse tug of war against Nia.
None of the guys flip the kill card (because it was meant for Frank because the producers hate Frank and gave him a viral disease?) – no guy elimination. Many sighs of relief are heard.
Cara Maria and Nia have an epic 75+ minute battle, but Cara Maria outlasts Nia and is victorious. Cara Maria looked super tough and really established herself as a strong competitor. The female game could come down to Laurel and Cara Maria, Fresh Meat friends.
Scoring for Episode 3 is noted below:
Best player performance of the episode: Cara Maria (25 points)
Free Agents Scores – Ep3 (this is the Excel file for those who prefer it)