The 9th episode of MTV’s The Challenge Free Agents opens with Nany putting make-up on Cohutta. Ain’t love grand?
After completing Cohutta’s smokey eye look, Cohutta says, “guess we’re gunna have to move to one of the blue states now,” (since emasculated men aren’t welcome in the south) to which Nany replies, “what’s a blue state?” Oy.
Elsewhere in the house, Laurel is complaining/bragging to Cara Maria about all of the people who have come to her asking for favors in the game. When Cara Maria mentions that she’s happy they were friends before all these BS alliances, Laurel shuts Cara Maria down, flaunting her power and even suggesting that Laurel would choose Jessica over Cara Maria in the pecking order since, “she’s been nice the whole time.” Laurel finds Cara Maria annoying and tells her to shut up. Laurel was more pleasant when she was getting some lovin’.
For this episode’s challenge, the contestants are playing in teams of two in a game called, “Dug Out.” This game looks very familiar, and I’m sure I’ve seen it in another season.
There are six giant ramps dug out into the ground. At the top of each ramp, there are six balls. The goal of the game is to transfer the balls from the side each player starts from and run them over to the opposite side, where there partner will have a rack, doing the same thing.
There will be collisions.
Team Captains (picked at random) are CT, Cohutta and Johnny from Portland for the guys, and Devyn, Theresa, and Cara Mara for the girls.
CT chooses Zach. Bananas says, “see you in the draw,” because that’s two gladiators on one team. Devyn chooses Laurel (duh), Cohutta chooses Bananas, leaving Leroy to Johnny from Portland. Theresa goes for Nany, leaving Jessica for Cara Maria. Cara Maria is not pleased.
The girls heat is first. Cara Maria runs down and crashes into Nany. They both see stars… or birds, whichever cartoon concussion symbol you prefer. Nany’s nose bleeds, but she keeps on going.
Laurel decides to prance along at “Devyn’s pace” and let whatever happens happen… not the strategy one would expect from the mighty Laurel. Theresa and Nany win. That’s right, even more points for Nany.
The boys heat is hilarious. Everyone is afraid of CT and Zach, so they just try to avoid the mammoths. Leroy is running back and forth with decent speed, but Johnny from Portland is taking different colored balls with him each time, making Leroy do twice the work for obviously less effective results. Not good.
CT and Zach win. Johnny from Portland feels bad about his performance, but Leroy is cool as always.
The winners take their own van back to the house and discuss who to vote in.
Back at the house, Cohutta asks Nany how this vote is gunna go. Instead of talking to Nany, Cohutta should probably remind CT and Zach that they could lose a final to Bananas, but probably not to him and maybe for a better chance at first place, they should keep little Cohutta around. But no, he does not do this.
At the bar, Laurel and Cara Maria are awkwardly avoiding each other. Laurel kinda talks a little crap to Cohutta and Nany about Cara Maria, feeling that they’re both being stubborn… forgetting she told Cara Maria to shut the f*** up because she’s “annoying” – ugh.
Johnny from Portland isn’t partying too much because he has a feeling karma could haunt him and his bad performance could yield an elimination appearance. Theresa asks Leroy to play the game and Leroy kinda shrugs because he’s not going to go promise Theresa he won’t vote for her if she doesn’t vote for him. No politics for Leroy.
With the few people left, Jessica gets voted in easily, being a rookie who hasn’t been in an elimination yet and all.
Zach votes for Cohutta because he’s not threatened by the little guy. Nany obviously won’t vote for Cohutta, so she votes for Johnny from Portland, who appropriately responds by saying, “after all we’ve been through?” Both CT and Theresa vote for Cohutta, presumably because he’s too small to fear.
Before the elimination, Jessica chats with Laurel. Jessica feels calm. When Laurel says, “calm before the storm”, Jessica doesn’t seem to get it. I know TV isn’t allowed in the house, but are books? Laurel still hasn’t smoothed things over with Cara Maria. Laurel says, “I helped guide her through and tried to giver her my strength, and now I just don’t know this person.” Oh yes, Laurel, where would anyone be without you? Laurel doesn’t know Cara Maria anymore because Cara Maria is pissed at Laurel for talking down to her?
Cohutta wants Nany to be worried and concerned, probably because he’s worried about going home, probably because he’s got a good chance of going home, seeing as that he’s Nany’s size. Nany cries about the possibility of Cohutta going home (5 points).
At the elimination, the game is powerball, the first one of the season, coming up in the rotation for the third time.
Devyn draws a blank. Bananas draws a blank. Cara draws the kill card, because why not? She’s very good at that. Plus, she’s done two eliminations, but not this game of powerball before.
Johnny from Portland draws a blank, leaving the kill card for Leroy.
Cara Maria and Jessica go at each other pretty hard. Twice when Jessica gets close to the hoop, she throws the ball and misses. Laurel yells at her from the peanut gallery not to shoot, but to put the ball in the hoop. Zach finds this tasteless. Laurel says she doesn’t have to root for Cara Maria. No, she doesn’t have to, but if they were friends, it’s not the nicest thing to do. The game continued, with both girls fighting with determination. It’s a close elimination, but as most would guess, Cara Maria comes out victorious.
Cohutta is pretty much just praying, since he is outsized. But the prayers are not answered and Leroy dominates, sending Cohutta home.
At home, Nany complains to Laurel that she’ll miss Cohutta. Then Nany asks Laurel what’s up with her and Cara Maria, noticing that Laurel cheered for Jessica at the elimination. “Were you and Cara, like, best friends?” Nany asks. Laurel is not phased, saying, “The term ‘best friend’ is getting thrown around in this house… I have other friends.” Does she have other friends? I thought she didn’t care about friends, just the game? Then Laurel says that, “I want her to learn a lesson, too.”
What lesson is Cara supposed to learn here? To never talk because she can be annoying?
Meanwhile, Cara Maria meets with medics who think she should have X-rays because her wrist could be fractured. Cara Maria freaks out, crying because she does not want to go home. This close to the final, after winning three elimination rounds, it would be devastating if Cara Maria has to go home because of injury. This is serious stuff!
Scoring for Episode 9 is shown below:
Because WordPress hates me and doesn’t always let me put in excel, a link to the excel file is here: Free Agents Scores – Ep9
Best player performance of the episode: Cara Maria (30 points)