R.I.P. Johnny & Jessica

Goodbye, J&J! Before this season, the last time we saw Johnny & Jessica was Battle of the Exes 2, when Jessica & Dustin were eliminated in the first episode by rookies Adam & Brittany, while Johnny & Averey made it episode 7, when they lost in the dome to Leroy & Nia.

This season Johnny & Jessica were in the bottom of all three challenges, but thanks to T.J. calling off the second elimination, they got hang around until the end of episode 5.

There’s something special about Johnny & Jessica. I think it’s that they are both seemingly regular people who are authentically themselves on camera, for better and worse.

The best either of these two normal (meaning not jacked) competitors ever did on the Challenge was Free Agents in 2014. Johnny (formerly referred to as Johnny from Portland to extra differentiate him from Bananas) was the male runner up to Bananas that season.

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Cara Maria vs. Jessica on Free Agents

Jessica made it to episode 9, when she lost to the super fit, fierce competitor Cara Maria in the elimination round.

Jessica & Anastasia were eliminated episode 2 of Rivals II, her first Challenge, hot off the airing of Real World Portland.

Free Agents was the following season. That’s when Johnny first played the game. It’s also when Jessica hooked up with Dustin during his brief time on the show.

Jessica’s two challenge attractions have been a former gay porn star and a guy who has knocked up two chicks. Way to pick ’em, Jess! Though, considering she made a shrine to a guy she went on a handful of dates with back on her Real World Portland season, being bad at relationships seems to be Jessica’s mo.

Her sad relationship struggles seem to contribute to her annoyance and her charm. For those who attracting to the darling naivete, god-loving Jessica is seen as “sweet” and “cute” by her many loyal twitter supporters. One posted this gem:

Jessica Fan on Twitter

Jessica Fan on Twitter

Note the first comment, rightfully pointing out that Kenny & Evan weren’t just charming jerks, they are banned from MTV for the toothbrush raping Tonya, which is worse than Johnny being a dick of a partner to Jessica.

Jessica retweeted this tweet, which sends the message that she agrees and/or supports this ridiculous statement. Would be so interesting to see Tonya rip into Jessica for this. Unfortunately, Tonya and Jessica will never give us the kind of Ashley vs. Simone screaming match that they should have about how they’ve been treated by men on the show.

The second comment mentions that Zach had a similar attitude to Jonna. Zach’s treatment of Jonna was worse since the two were in a romantic relationship at one point. But both Johnny and Zach are unapologetic in their honest behavior, which makes them the kind of people you want to see on reality television.

Johnny and Zach are impressively genuine. Even though Johnny’s resentment of Jessica doesn’t make him a good partner to her, he simply can’t stand Jessica. While it’s fair to feel bad for Jessica, it’s also hard to ignore where Johnny is coming from. Johnny’s working with someone he honestly has never gotten along with, who also happens to be a subpar competitor.

Jessica is adorable in how she defends herself to Tony in this tweet:

Jessica's Culinary Report Card.png

Jessica posts her culinary report card on Twitter

Yup, that’s Jessica calling herself smart for doing well in a culinary school that doesn’t even spell out the word “cumulative”. Oh, Jessica… you dumped your boyfriend because of Tony, whom you now throw shade at on twitter. It’s like Real Worlders of Twitter Fighting. Yikes.

But the best Jessica twitterness is this:

Jesus the Stupidity.png

Jesus and Stupidity

There is nothing to not love about this exchange. It’s so vague that there’s no reason to believe Rick Diculous isn’t talking about her stupidity. The line “…some stupidity a majority of the time…” is a terrific way to summarize twitter and/or Jessica in general. Her reply is definitely getting her into heaven. Oh, I could go on, but I won’t.

Time to move onto to Johnny Reilly. A self-described “dick”, Johnny seems to be a favorite in the house because, like Leroy, he’s funny and likable. Would have been interesting to see how he and Averey got along, had either of them made it farther into the season. He rebounded from ex-Averey with Nany. Could Johnny have produced more fantasy hook up points had he stayed in the game longer?

Also would have been interesting to see if other veterans would protect a non-threatening friendly team like Johnny & Jessica. But maybe their lack of getting along was going to be their downfall no matter what.

These two will likely be back in a future season, where they are more likely to entertain well than perform well.

 

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